the little things.

So beyond the typical men bashing web page that a lot of women create; I decided to write a tasteful entry on how grateful I am for the gentlemen that do exist in the world.

The disgusting part about relationships these days are the way that the media centers their focus on the roles that a man and a woman should play when they are together. Music has a large part in how society should treat women with "ass, ass, ass, ass" bigger than the egos that men use when they walk into bars expecting to get a quick lay. Television ads portray men as lazy pigs rolling around in filth, with their Sunday football get-togethers. It's truly ridiculous. It hasn't always been this way.

I don't really expect men to bow at my knees and lavishly shower me with diamonds every time I invite them into my house. Dear men, please don't ever get on your knees unless you're ready for a quick flash of confusion or the real answer you want to hear. This gesture is only meant for one thing; not for saying you're sorry. If you have to get on your knees to beg for forgiveness, chances are you've already lost your manlihood. These days, the common things I hear women cry about is this: "I haven't received a text message in two hours" or "ugh you didn't ask for nonfat milk in my Starbucks?". Let's get realistic here. Yes the little things count, but is it really that big of a deal that you had 15 more calories in your Starbucks? Can you imagine if he had forgotten to bring you that "essential" coffee in the first place? Of course you wouldn't be able to imagine, because if he dared to forget it, he'd be sleeping on the couch. Regardless of the little details that many men often forget, it really doesn't have to turn into a big deal if he forgets to sub the nonfat milk for the 2%. Men aren't like women in the way that they think; they are willing to go above and beyond in the more unexpected ways.

You can bet you've found a gentleman if he's done any of these things for you: tried to make you laugh while you're crying, has driven you around to help you find your lost dog, or even gets up in the middle of the night to grab medicine at the store for you. These are the little things that matter. I may not be able to predict how happy a woman will be if a man never brings her flowers, chocolates, or buys her diamonds. But knowing that when you're in need the most he will be there, will probably make you happier in the long run. These are the things that you don't see in the movies.

I know that these things matter, because I have the most amazing person who does these things that are taken for granted by most women. I enjoy the days I can count on somebody to love me no matter how tear-stained my face is. I admire the man in my life who doesn't try to woo me with materialistic items; only with his heart.

These are the men in the world that ought to be acknowledged, not the ones who buy cars for their fiancee's or multi-million dollar mansions for their pin-up girlfriends.

Along with that, I admire the brave men in my life that are always willing to give their heart, sweat, and time to help a girl out. My father and brother are those that do just that for me. I often do take them for granted. But when my car is on it's last limb, I can always count on these two in my family to put me back on the road. Sometimes it's hours, sometimes it's days worth of work. Nevertheless, I strive to thank them for the things they do for me.

Above all, I think it's important to realize the true spirit of a genuine heart. Modern women often overlook the men in their lives. It's truly a blessing to have strong, brave, and caring men around. And if you don't know anybody like this, I feel sorry for you. Instead of looking for that perfect guy, maybe you should start looking for yourself first. Or perhaps you should surround yourself with men who respect you rather than look at you as eye-candy. It all begins with the little things that you can do for yourself in order to be genuinely happy in this world.

time to give thanks.

Looking into the future a year ago, I wouldn't have pictured my life the way it is now. Beyond the usual celebratory Thanksgiving dinner, it seemed appropriate to me to thank someone who I'm very lucky to have in my life.

A year ago, I would've contemplated things in a different light. I may have never considered going to law school. I probably would've continued graduate school at New Mexico State University. I may not have even ventured to move away from Las Cruces.

A year ago, I was unhappy; I was stuck at a job I may as well have quit the day I started. I was in a relationship that I was positive was going somewhere, but in reality wasn't. A year ago, I had trouble attending class, hardly had any friends around me; I had pushed most of them away. I would run into friends in the grocery store, but rarely on campus because I was never there. Most of them would ask where I had been and what I had been doing. I never had a straight answer. The truth was, I had no idea what I had been doing, where I had been for the past year and a half, or where I was going.

It only takes one insignificant act of kindness from another person to turn your life completely around. One friend did exactly that. I was invited to a personal bible study of which I had no idea was just for my own benefit. My friend knew I needed change. I just wasn't myself anymore. If it hadn't been for my kindness to her and standing up for her when others tore her down, she may never have helped me (this I'm gratefully thankful for). The fact that I saw her as a loving and beautiful person rather than a prude (what others would often call her and pick at her for), led her to pursue lifting me up in return. Her so called "prudeness" was actually something I looked up to. Modesty is the better policy :)

Whether either of us knew what we were doing for each other, it came as a wonderful surprise that we had become a blessing to each other and had a specific significance in each others' lives. This amazing friend gave me hope and the power of prayer. My hope now is that I gave her something in return. She gave me the realization of my own worth and the motivation to make myself happy rather than relying on others for my own happiness. I don't know how happy I would be at this point in time if it hadn't been for the help of Johnese. She brought me to many conclusions that I couldn't draw for myself.

I do believe that happiness is per choice of the individual. However, regardless of the decisions that a person makes, there is by chance a reason for every person you meet in this world. People come in and out of your life. Sometimes they stick around for years, are here only for a moment or two, or may stay in your presence your entire life. Happiness is also part chance and part of God's will.

In celebration of the season we are in, I am thankful for all who are in my life. But more specifically, I am thankful at this moment for my dear friend Johnese. She is an amazing woman who I respect and I am blessed to have her in my life. Here's to you Johnese!

guardian angels

The instant you think about someone, it's always wise to make sure they know. Contact them. Ask them how they are doing. Let them know that you are thinking about them. The minute you think about someone you haven't talked to in a long time is the minute that God is letting you know that they need you.

If I were to take my own advice, perhaps a few people I know would be here today. A really good friend of mine who was involved in church with me in high school committed suicide earlier this year. Unfortunately it had been years since I had spoken with him. He was one of those people you knew would always be there, until he wasn't anymore. It occurred to me that after thinking of contacting him for months prior to his death, I could have possibly saved his life. This is saying a bit much, but there is no doubt that it's always in the back of my mind.

We often find ourselves too busy to keep up with the lives of others; until we realize it's too late. Life is funny that way. I often think of lost friends and wonder if they are doing okay. After my friend's passing, I find that the people I think about are usually needing a friend to reach out to them. So a word of warning to those that don't believe in fate: never forget those long, lost friends of yours. They are usually lost for a reason. Contact those people that come across your mind once in a while. Especially if it's more than once. You may find that reconnecting can lead you to a place you'd never thought you'd be. It never hurts to remember a friend that was once important in your life.

RIP Tito. We miss your beautiful smile, your contagious laughter, but more importantly: your amazing personality and carefree ways. I hope to see you in heaven one day among the angels that look over us.

Election Day is Here

Drawing on the future of our country is something that compels me to write this entry. I think the biggest question for people in our nation is not "who should I vote for", but more of "should I vote"? This question sincerely disturbs me; for more reasons than one.

To all those who cry over their vote not being counted, how about crying because you can't even vote. Perhaps it's extreme to think that way, but why wouldn't you think that way? There are many people in this world that have no voice in their government, their decisions, their futures, or even something as domestic as raising their own children. It's a shame to see that the God-given right that we have as Americans is taken for granted so easily. It must not be much of a commodity for some people(maybe because it has no material value--just a thought).

My recent experience with one of these people came out of the blue. In all respects, this conversation "fell from the sky". Almost like the right to vote did (supposedly). If things fall from the sky, I suppose they have no value ,right? Kidding. The fact is: no, our right to vote did not fall from the sky. Where did it come from? It came from the strong belief of our Founding Father's for their perspective on religious tolerance and the right to question their own government. Why is it so important anyways?

Here's a brief history lesson (should you even care to vote): years ago on this day women fought for the right to vote. The Women's Suffrage Movement was a push for an equal right for women to make their own decisions. Every human being is entitled to that right. Why else would God have given us the gift of free-will? In light of military action for alliance and more notably the entitlements of oil production (that's a whole other argument), another reason our military is overseas is for our safety. The safety to guard our own regime against those pursuing to overcome the American Dream. The safety to keep our right to freedom; consequently the right to keep the power in our own hands.

Back to our little friend who doesn't want to vote. Why doesn't he think it's worth it? His argument: "religion and government are not to be mixed. I have no desire to vote in a place that God does not want: this is a man made government that we live under, it is not under God nor does he favor it. For we allow abortions, divorce, and homosexuals." Clearly the perspective to vote upon your religion is the incorporation of religion into state. In the words of John Quincy Adams, "always vote for principle, though you vote alone, and you may cherish the sweet reflection that your vote is never lost". To an extent, "one" may argue that the decision to abstain from voting would lead to not following God's will. But when it is His will for it is He alone that guides it all, if you have been bestowed that blessing, shouldn't you take the opportunity to relish in it? It sure is an epitome of ignorance to not recognize that you are blessed and given opportunities that others would kill for.

All I can say is you're only allowed to complain if you can prove that you did something about it.

Character

When I think about people, I often associate them with a certain quality that exemplifies their personality. I think everyone does this, unless it's my imagination. More specifically, I can gather that most people often need things; and certain people are more likely to fulfill those specific needs at the designated time. But more importantly, I'd like to gather a few thoughts about the people I surround myself with and the qualities that I attribute to them.

When I think of the people in my life, I can often find one important quality that that person holds. That quality is something I find dear to my soul because upon thinking of that person, I will always remember them by that characterization. For example my mother; when I think about her I often find myself thinking about how giving she is. She tends to make sure I always have enough of everything, plus more than enough. She has the most giving heart of anybody that I know. And that may simply be because she is my mother; but no greater love exists than that of the love a mother has for her child (which I hope to experience one day). My mother is the most heartfelt person I know.

When I think about my father, I think about him caring...sometimes a little too much. He is always the caregiver; he worries and worries until things are fixed. He always lets me know that he cares and that he's thinking about me. When I think of my father, I think of him as the caretaker because he is always looking out for his children's best interests.

It may seem odd to bring this one up (as my brother is such a young person), but his personality shows through even though I know he has yet to fully develop his own character. When I think about my little brother, I think of his genuine heart. He is very lucky to be a person who genuinely cares about the needs of others. He seldomly cares about himself, but is always looking after the needs of others. He is always trying to help people and no matter what he does, he never asks for anything in return.

My sister is another one of the people I can always count on. She has a specific quality that I hardly find in anyone else: true wisdom. She isn't as close to me as I would like her to be, however, she is always there the most when I need her. Her compassion for my success is always at the top of her list. She always wants to know if I am succeeding and what I am doing. She rarely talks about herself unless asked. She is the wise one; she always knows how to handle whatever situation is thrown at her and never loses faith in helping me handle my own. She is the best advice-giver. I look to her for wisdom and faith, she often shows me that nothing is ever as bad as it seems and that faith is my only option at some points in time.

Another person in my life is my best friend. He is the cherry on top of my ice cream (no pun intended here, so get your mind out of the gutter). He is cheerful and enthusiastic about life, he always gives me hope when I need it. He knows how to handle almost every situation and never hesitates to ask for help when he needs it. My best friend never judges me, even through the worst of times. He is always there no matter what; he'll give me a hand if he sees me on the floor (but will politely laugh with me about why I'm there in the first place). He never falters at being reliable. I think he is the greatest friend I've ever had and he is by far the only person I could trust with my life. I know I would dodge a bullet for him and I know he would do it for me. I love him because he does great things for people, even if it doesn't mean a thing to him. He has the kindest heart and knows how to put a smile on anybody's face when he passes by. This is my best friend.

Overall, I think the object of discussion here is the ability to attribute a single word to every person I love. If I had to come up with a single word for everyone of them I would be able to! Why? Because I know them by heart. I know them for everything they strive to be, everything they've done, and everything they can be. These people are the people I know the best. These people that I call my friends and family are the ones that I truly know. And only upon that I can base my judgement about whether or not the mistakes they make is truly of character. I can testify to each and every one of the characters that these individuals display.

If I were to search a field of flowers, these people would be the brightest flowers. The different colors would  be character of them as well. This may have something to do with the aura of a person; something of which I know nothing of or even care to believe in. But nonetheless, I believe that every person has that little spark that exists in their heart, however deep it may be. That spark is the character of a person. The innermost quality that makes them who they are. That spark may also be what drives them through life. My love for these people is of the utmost degree.

With that, a thought I'll leave for you is this: Love is being able to describe a person in one word. Unconditional love is being able to see what makes a person passionately alive.